If you’re an affiliate promoting LifeLock you already know LifeLock is a joke. In fact, LifeLock would want to pre-approve this blog post. If you’re not a LifeLock affiliate, and you probably aren’t, then you probably didn’t understand this inside joke. But trust me, if LifeLock treats its customers the way it now treats those who have built up the LifeLock name, you would probably start looking at alternatives.

LifeLock is a service that they admit you could do for free on your own. Setting fraud alerts with credit reporting agencies, getting your name off junk mail lists, and obtaining yearly credit reports are FREE and SOMETHING YOU CAN DO YOURSELF.

But for $10 bucks a month LifeLock does promise to spend up to $1 million dollars to “recover your good name” if your identity is stolen. Whatever that means. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be reimbursed for any out of pocket losses or dings to your bank account.

It doesn’t mean you will be paid anything.

It just means LifeLock will pay investigators, attorneys, etc., to work on your behalf.

So let us look closer at the LifeLock fine print to see what is actually being promised.

First off, if your loss is greater than $1000 don’t expect LifeLock to come rushing to your aid. In other words, the larger your harm the less immediate service you will receive. Here is what LifeLock says:

“If the amount involved is over $1,000, we reserve the right to investigate the Service Guarantee request in order to determine whether the request is valid before we do anything else.

We will perform our investigation as promptly as we can.

If our investigation shows that a reasonable person would conclude that your personal identifying information was used without your authorization to commit a fraud while you were a member and you have complied with all this Agreement, we will perform as described herein.”

Hmmm, so YOU get to be investigated by LifeLock so LifeLock can try and get out of its agreement before LifeLock does squat on your behalf.

But what if you disagree with LifeLock’s investigation? LifeLock says “should we decline your Service Guarantee request following our investigation and that decision subsequently is determined to have been wrong, we will honor our Service Guarantee.”

So your remedy is to sue LifeLock, which almost no one will do because the expense and hassle involved will typically exceed the value of their service. Which remember, you can do yourself – as millions have done before LifeLock existed.

Assuming the investigation into you goes in your favor, here is what LifeLock promises – read this carefully!

“If you are our member when someone accesses your personal identifying information and subsequently uses it without your authorization to commit a fraud, due to a failure or defect in our Service, and you have complied with this Agreement, subject to the terms herein, we will pay professionals to assist in restoring any such loss or recover such expenses, as required, provided however that the maximum limit of our Service Guarantee is $1 (one) million per lifetime for all incidents in the aggregate.”

Initially, someone has to access and use your personal information and commit a fraud. That probably covers most problems associated with identity theft, but there does have to be fraud.

But here is kicker #1 – “due to a failure or defect in our Service.” So if your personal information is stolen and used, LifeLock only comes to the rescue if their service failed. What is their service? “[W]e ask the credit bureaus to set free fraud alerts on your behalf.” Big deal. Does this cover all instances of identity theft? Nope.

Kicker #2 – “we will pay professionals to assist in restoring any such loss or recover such expenses.” Lifelock will not reimburse you for damages due to identity theft. Let me repeat that again so this is probably a common misconception. LIFELOCK WILL NOT REIMBURSE YOU FOR DAMAGES DUE TO IDENTITY THEFT.

Instead, LifeLock will pay others to go after the thief who stole your identity. Do you think that young, crack-smoking, drug abusing loser has any money or assets? Me neither. Great, LifeLock pays for an attorney to sue a deadbeat. Aren’t you joyful.

Am I sure about this? Won’t LifeLock pay for your losses? LifeLock says: “We will not reimburse special, incidental, indirect or consequential damages.”

You have to read the LifeLock agreement carefully.

Manymay believe from the ads that LifeLock is essentially a form of insurance. But LifeLock is not licensed to provide insurance, anywhere, that I am aware of, and I sure didn’t see any insurance registration information posted on the LifeLock website. So beware and realize that what you are getting from LifeLock is not necessarily what you think you will be receiving. This is NOT insurance.

By the way, and you can say you read it here first, LifeLock will sued by the government over its guarantee

LifeLock – Biggest Joke in Marketing Today
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3 thoughts on “LifeLock – Biggest Joke in Marketing Today

  • August 4, 2010 at 10:30 pm
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    Dose anyone know if Life crock has paid out any money to anyone with that week guarantee!!! What a crock… For more info check out pplnational.com it might help.

  • Pingback: LifeLock: Identity Theft Protection | Personal Finance Analyst

  • June 23, 2008 at 11:08 pm
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    I review this site and getting good idea and view that written here, life lock is good industry taking good steps keep monitoring identity thieves and it always protect from wrong hands’ and taken full service . No one stop identity theft, but we almost completely cover it and its life lock guarantee. So we suggest visit this site hope you getting more knowledge. http://www.identitytheftprotectionlock.com/

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